Saturday, September 01, 2012

My Greatest Fear

The weather was so hot today and the traffic was just overwhelming but I had so much fun today taking the Koreans around the historical sites in town and later on to CCC for the children's party with the Orang Asli kids :) The Koreans are from a church in Singapore and they made a day trip here just for this. They were really enthusiastic and capable in dealing with the children today. Really enjoyed the time spent with them :)

I had the opportunity to handle the media projection today for the first time in CCC. No one was assigned and somehow I took up the role without realizing it as the person-in-charged gave me the flashdrive containing the slides. I thank God for wisdom to be of service in this area and managed to handle things smoothly with some help. In fact I had a lot of fun singing along while managing the slides.

After everything was over, on my way home, I felt a sense of satisfaction while I thought about what I was able to do today. Initially, when asked by Pastor to help out, I was rather reluctant. I was thinking to myself that my Korean was not good enough to be able communicate with any Korean and it would be a communication struggle. So, I was just not hyped up for it at all. But last night, Elvi told me that she will be picking me up around noon and I just took it in. So as arranged, we headed to meet the Koreans and the rest is history. Turns out that language was not a problem at all as they were all able to speak English since they live in Singapore.

My mind has been unnecessarily occupied recently with certain things and for the first time after a long time, it was focused on what was going on today instead. Throughout the day, I felt relaxed and happy to be doing what I did without thinking of anything else. I appreciate the joy of serving God even just by clicking on the computer today and singing songs of praise and worship. I realized that life should be lived like this every single day yet it has not been this way. Work and leisure time have become so mundane where most of the time my mind is not fully present. My daily routine has been switched to auto-pilot mode and my mind has been free to wander to places that I burden myself with. Honestly, I am so tired.

That few hours today felt like me taking a breather above the water after being underwater for some time now. Today, I saw how serving God with all my heart can do. It totally put my mind and heart at ease even though there are many things going on with life. Once again, I was just enjoying the fact that I am living that moment just for Him and doing my best with the given task. Nothing else mattered.

So, my greatest fear? That is to never be able to do anything for Him or feel that way ever again. Be it playing music or just being there to help anyone out, I just want nothing else to matter except to bring glory to Him because He deserved every bit of my life.


For this cause.



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