Every now and then, I'm faced with disappointments that just crush me inside out. And it's just happening way too often now. I know fully well that when things don't go my way, it's God allowing me to go through them in order to learn and grow, but I really hate it. So much that it doesn't seem to be ending anywhere, heartaches after heartaches. I have learnt to stop asking why because seriously who am I to ask the King of Kings why my life isn't turning out how I expected it to be. I couldn't hate the social media more right now, seeing the beautiful things in people's lives and comparing it with my own. I often asked why can't I have normal? Envy and bitterness cloud my mind and affect me a whole lot. It hurts so much and so often that the feeling is slowly and sadly becoming familiar. Despicably, my life isn't that bad at all. In fact, I ought to be more thankful than this for all the great things that God has blessed me with over the years. But now I truly understand that money can't buy everything and there is so much more to life than all the material things and possessions that we can obtain through a little hard work. I wonder every day if my life now is how it is supposed to be. Should I choose a different route or should I carry on this path and meet every possible roadblock there is? I'm really losing it.
I choose to believe that He knows what's best for me but it is such a challenge. I want to trust Him and wait upon Him. I want to know His heart and His plans for me. And I hope my eyes will open and see them soon.
He will not let your foot slip -
He who watches over you will not slumber.
Psalm 121:3
