The year that was 2014

Yep, it's now 2015. Time for reflection once again! 

Year 2014 was such a crazy year. I think it has got to be the most YOLO year for me! The two highlights would be getting the Fiesta and traveling to the UK all by myself :) 

Work was actually pretty mundant throughout the year, but towards the end of it I was offered something new and I'm really excited about it. It won't be easy but I trust that God will see me through! 

Serving in church got more enjoyable with new musicians and friends made. We did an Easter play as well as caroling for Christmas! What I enjoyed most is the bonding sessions during practices. I do look forward to serve as much as I can and to experience Him over and over again this new year. Hope to be able to do more than just playing music :) 

Time spent with the family got more precious this year when Soly moved to US for work. So happy that he came back to celebrate Christmas with us and also to usher in the new year together. I thank God for healing and renewing our bond as a family and blessing us with our daily needs each day. He is truly Jehovah Jireh :) 

Relationships have been one of the main struggles of 2014. Friendships were challenged in every way and I also went through a few roller-coasters in the matters of the heart. Through it all, I believe that God was leading me in every decision made, words spoken and actions taken. I pray that I will do better in the new year! 

For all the ups and downs, tears and laughter, heartbreaks and joy, I thank You, Lord that You were with me all the time. I'm thankful for all the lessons learnt and experiences gained. I surrender all my hopes and dreams for this year unto Your hands, and may Your name be exalted in all I do and say. 

Praying and hoping that Year 2015 will be  awesome! Cheers!

The Best Is Yet To Be

"However good or bad the situation is, it's not going to last forever."

I have a love-hate feeling about this caption. On one hand, it kinda suck that whatever good that I'm enjoying now will cease one day but on the other hand, it gives hope that whatever rough patch that I'm going through now will come to an end sooner or later. 

In recent days, I've been having the same wake up call over and over again - to wait upon the Lord and to trust that He knows best. I find myself reminding my impatient self to be still and just embrace the present. I'm learning to refrain from complaining or wondering about how my life is right now. It's really tough especially when others are seen to be moving forward with their lives the way the world expects but I myself is somehow falling behind. But I choose to see this as my portion that God has for me and to believe that He's definitely not shortchanging me in any way at all. He is Almighty and I'm His beloved :) 

It is my prayer that I will be faithful and obedient to Him every day, to bring glory and honour to His Name. Things are really getting worse in this world but I pray that people will still be able to see His greatness. 

Roadblocks

Every now and then, I'm faced with disappointments that just crush me inside out. And it's just happening way too often now. I know fully well that when things don't go my way, it's God allowing me to go through them in order to learn and grow, but I really hate it. So much that it doesn't seem to be ending anywhere, heartaches after heartaches. I have learnt to stop asking why because seriously who am I to ask the King of Kings why my life isn't turning out how I expected it to be. I couldn't hate the social media more right now, seeing the beautiful things in people's lives and comparing it with my own. I often asked why can't I have normal? Envy and bitterness cloud my mind and affect me a whole lot. It hurts so much and so often that the feeling is slowly and sadly becoming familiar. Despicably, my life isn't that bad at all. In fact, I ought to be more thankful than this for all the great things that God has blessed me with over the years. But now I truly understand that money can't buy everything and there is so much more to life than all the material things and possessions that we can obtain through a little hard work. I wonder every day if my life now is how it is supposed to be. Should I choose a different route or should I carry on this path and meet every possible roadblock there is? I'm really losing it.

I choose to believe that He knows what's best for me but it is such a challenge. I want to trust Him and wait upon Him. I want to know His heart and His plans for me. And I hope my eyes will open and see them soon.

He will not let your foot slip - 

He who watches over you will not slumber.

Psalm 121:3

Febulous

February has come and gone. It was an incredible month, I would say :)

For starters, CNY was pretty awesome although it was one of the more quiet ones in recent years. Had quite a lot of fun with the cuz, especially the slow-mo vids we did, and they had so much fun laughing at yours truly. Hmph. Haha Other than that, we managed to visit some relatives in KL too! 

Really appreciate spending time like this :)

Teos united! 

Got our custom-made Zhang Jia tees! :D

Visited relatives at KL :)

Then came the week-long birthday celebration! I actually celebrated till I fell sick, think I had too much good food and fun! :p But I'm really touched and blessed by those around me who generously showed their love, be it by a simple message or sharing a yummylicious feast! Not forgetting the pressies and bday cards which have been almost extinct in this era, quite sad actually. That's why I super appreciate hand-written notes and cards :)) Thank you for making turning 27 such an awesome occasion! Heehee 

 The early Italian feast!

Thanks, peeps! :)

First time celebrating bday at a kopitiam! Awesomeeeee

With the other two February babies! 

And another Italian feast! 

So blessed :):)

 Last but definitely not the least,
I want to thank God for the 2 most important people in my life,

Pa & Mummy :)

Thank you for extending your stay in Melaka just to celebrate my birthday with me. I thank God for both your unfailing love to me each and every day even when we're miles apart. Your constant support, encouragement and prayers have played the biggest part in all aspects of my life.

I love you, both! 

Your love never fails,

It never gives up,

It never runs out on me.

3G1G

3 girls, 1 guy - that's what it stands for :)

Andrew, Rebecca, Elvi and I have known one another since cf days but we weren't exactly close. Well, except for Andrew and Reb who dated and eventually got married :) I've always been closer to Elvi's sisters, Andrew has always been my fellow bandmate and Reb was one of the paddlepoppers. 

Through serving together in CCC and hanging out frequently, we got closer and just got really comfortable with one another. It came to a point where we could just share anything under the sun and just be transparent about our lives. I guess we grew to trust each other, with no fear of being judged or misunderstood. 

I appreciate that we are all different and that we are able to accept and complement one another. I pray that God will continue to use us together to fulfil His plans and be a blessing to those around us.

It has only just begun... ;)

R.A.G.E.

The New Year

Happy New Year!

The first week of January 2014 is coming to an end and it has been somewhat fulfilling. Firstly, work was just 2 days so it certainly was awesome. haha Other than that, it's always wonderful to have Pa and Mummy staying with me, showering me with love and pampering me throughout the day.

Earlier this week, I welcomed the new year at Drewbecca's place. They had a bbq party just among the cousins and invited Elvi, Shi Wei and I. It was really fun! The cousins were really friendly and we had a good time of laughter :) Elvi and I slept over too and we stayed up till about 5am! :D

Within this week also I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty twice! The first time was with Nicole and Claire, and second was with Styne and Elvi. Personally, I really liked the movie. I thought that whoever who loves photography would really appreciate the scenes with such breathtaking sights. I have never seen any other movies more beautiful than this! Also, the story itself is an inspiration. It certainly is a motivator for YOLO (you only live once) motto in life. I really hope that this year I will be able to see the world more than ever. Praying that financial needs will be met and that timing would be favourable :)

Emotionally, I have been feeling thirsty. I keep wanting more out of everybody around me. And I myself keep wanting to give more. But somehow, the circumstances of life obstruct and I get frustrated. I want to draw strength and wisdom from Him and pray that I do not burn out fast. I trust that as I have this longing to give more out of my life, I know He will sustain. Looking forward to a good year ahead!

You will know that God's power

is very great for us who believe.

Eph 1:19

Reflection for 2013

Year 2013 has been one of a kind. After some reflection, I realized that it has been a year where I was able to do a lot of things for myself, in another words loads of me-time!

For starters, it was the first year that I've been staying all by myself here in Melaka. Although Pa & Mummy come over regularly and the bros as well, most of the time I have the house all to myself. Most people expect me to be scared or lonely but truth to be told, I'm really enjoying it. haha 

Apart from that, I attended hip hop dance classes for about 2 months. I loved it as a form of exercise because I could really sweat a lot. Sadly, I'm not a dancer by nature thus I felt that it was not as enjoyable as I wanted it to be. 

The latest would be what I have always wanted to do all my life - badminton training! I have been feeling stagnant with my skills and thought that it was time I do something to improve myself. I managed to get a coach who agreed to coach me one-to-one and I must say it has been quite an experience! I thoroughly enjoyed all the sessions so far but every training felt like a near-death experience. haha Nonetheless, I hope to resume training soon for at least a few more times :)

After all that has been said, I want to thank God for his faithfulness to me. Throughout this year, I have also 'avoided' commitments and responsibilities whenever I could. I kept having the thought of wanting time to myself and not be tied down by anything. As I reflect back on this year, I realized that life was not as fulfilling as it should be when living for one's self. I will not deny that I had the time of my life doing whatever I wanted, whenever and wherever. But life's not supposed to be like this. 

So, I have made a resolution for Year 2014 to serve others more, be it for God, family or friends. I want to make everyday count, not for myself but for the betterment of others. I believe that there is so much more to life than making myself happy and I want to impact other lives as much as I can. 

I'm grateful for friends who have been there all along and also for new friends made this year. I always believe that friends are one of the best gifts in life. I pray for God's wisdom and guidance as I befriend them and also for His love and blessings to overflow in my life to them :)

For the family, I'm grateful everyday for health, joy, peace and love that resonates to people around our lives. I'm forever thankful for Pa & Mummy's unfailing love, Kor & Soly's understanding and bgr-like close relationship. I cannot ask for more :) 

Thank you, Lord for 2013. I look forward to more adventures and YOLO moments in 2014!!

The glory of life is

to love, not to be loved;

to give, not to get;

to serve, not to be served. 

Resuming

Wow, it's been so long since I last posted here! A pretty boring night has led me back here, I guess. And yes, life has been nothing less than interesting since. So much has happened, yet I feel as though nothing has.

For starters, I was able to bring my parents for some trips. Terengganu in April and Penang in June. I thank God that both trips came to pass and we had a really good time together.

Terengganu - We stayed at Uncle Ronnie and Aunty Olive's place!

Penang - Soly brought us around! :)

Apart from that, work is still the same, but we are traveling more than ever. Since the reduction of charges, sign-ups have increased. A month ago, boss spoke to me and proposed that I join the Sales Team for Trade. I agreed but till today there hasn't been any changes. I'm praying that God has something good in store as I have been feeling rather demotivated at work. I need more challenges and progress!

Recently I had the privilege of attending the Eagles Leadership Conference in Singapore. It was such an amazing experience. Heard from so many incredible speakers! I did learnt a lot and I hope to put them to good use in my daily life.

 Thoroughly enjoyed the conference! So much to learn!

 The 4 eagles from Melaka!

 Met up with Debbie for lunch. Yummy tonkatsu! :D

 Julie brought us out for Katong Laksa & Awfully Chocolate :D

 The remarkable Idris Jala and his lovely wife!

 Ong Kian Meng - Member of Parliament for Serdang & frequent author of Malaysiakini

Our beloved LGE was present too!

 Monita Tahalea & Juwita Suwito - beautiful singers for Christ!

Also met up with Xi and Tiff on the last day. Went to CHC too!

Feelings have been on roller coaster since forever. Once a while, old heartbreaks will surface and consume the soul. I could only hold on to Him and get through the moment. It's really unbearable and I always wished that God would do something right away. Yes, right away. I'm so sick of waiting and envying others. I wonder how long more do I need to survive before I get to live. 

Looking forward to the Bangkok trip in 2 weeks' time! Praying for an awesome trip with the peeps :D

Be the change.

Where do sinners go?

My friend was having a conversation with a man who didn’t have much good to say about the Christian faith. My friend knew that if he were to sound too “religious,” he would jeopardize any chance to witness. So, in the middle of their discussion, he said, “Hey, Bob, do you know where sinners go?”

“That’s easy,” he replied. “You’re going to tell me they go to hell.”

“No,” my friend responded. “They go to church.”

Bob was speechless. That wasn’t what he expected. He wasn’t ready to hear from a Christian who realized he wasn’t perfect. My friend had a chance to share that Christians understand their sinfulness and their need for continual spiritual restoration. He was able to explain grace—the unmerited favor we have with God despite our sinfulness (Rom. 5:8-9; Eph. 2:8-9).

Perhaps we don’t give those outside the church a clear picture of what’s happening inside. They may not understand that we’re there to praise our Savior for providing “redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins” (Col. 1:14).

Yes, sinners go to church. And sinners—forgiven ones—go to heaven because of God’s grace.

We’re far from perfection, yet perfect forever,
For Christ is our righteousness, Lord, and our Savior;
No justification for sin can we offer,
Yet sanctified fully, we’re now His forever. —Lee

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints.

Adopted from RBC

Over You

Although I can't relate to this song, I can't stop watching this video. 

Such a simple and honest performance by Cassadee Pope on The Voice :)

Over You

Weather man said it's gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary
It was only December I still remember
The presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you

Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I'm not afraid
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along with every song
I know you didn't mean to give them to me

But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you

Cause you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you
Ever get over you.

Originally sung by Miranda Lambert

My Greatest Fear

The weather was so hot today and the traffic was just overwhelming but I had so much fun today taking the Koreans around the historical sites in town and later on to CCC for the children's party with the Orang Asli kids :) The Koreans are from a church in Singapore and they made a day trip here just for this. They were really enthusiastic and capable in dealing with the children today. Really enjoyed the time spent with them :)

I had the opportunity to handle the media projection today for the first time in CCC. No one was assigned and somehow I took up the role without realizing it as the person-in-charged gave me the flashdrive containing the slides. I thank God for wisdom to be of service in this area and managed to handle things smoothly with some help. In fact I had a lot of fun singing along while managing the slides.

After everything was over, on my way home, I felt a sense of satisfaction while I thought about what I was able to do today. Initially, when asked by Pastor to help out, I was rather reluctant. I was thinking to myself that my Korean was not good enough to be able communicate with any Korean and it would be a communication struggle. So, I was just not hyped up for it at all. But last night, Elvi told me that she will be picking me up around noon and I just took it in. So as arranged, we headed to meet the Koreans and the rest is history. Turns out that language was not a problem at all as they were all able to speak English since they live in Singapore.

My mind has been unnecessarily occupied recently with certain things and for the first time after a long time, it was focused on what was going on today instead. Throughout the day, I felt relaxed and happy to be doing what I did without thinking of anything else. I appreciate the joy of serving God even just by clicking on the computer today and singing songs of praise and worship. I realized that life should be lived like this every single day yet it has not been this way. Work and leisure time have become so mundane where most of the time my mind is not fully present. My daily routine has been switched to auto-pilot mode and my mind has been free to wander to places that I burden myself with. Honestly, I am so tired.

That few hours today felt like me taking a breather above the water after being underwater for some time now. Today, I saw how serving God with all my heart can do. It totally put my mind and heart at ease even though there are many things going on with life. Once again, I was just enjoying the fact that I am living that moment just for Him and doing my best with the given task. Nothing else mattered.

So, my greatest fear? That is to never be able to do anything for Him or feel that way ever again. Be it playing music or just being there to help anyone out, I just want nothing else to matter except to bring glory to Him because He deserved every bit of my life.

For this cause.

Roller Coaster

Life is pretty much like this now. Certainly do not know if it is a good thing or not. Probably a balance, I hope? A lot is going on right now and I find myself being emotional challenged most of the time. There are days where I just yearn to be silent and days where I tend to be loud and hyped-up for just about anything. These coming months will be eventful. But I am really excited for friends' weddings and long-awaited trips too :)

Take control, Lord.

I'll Sing Your Praises Forever

It was pretty late already but I remembered that I needed to get something from the supermarket. After a bath, I was still contemplating if I should head out. Somehow I decided not to and found myself sitting in front of the computer wanting to go through the songs for this week's Sunday service. I found myself drifting into the presence of God as I listened to the first song. Then my heart was stirred to listen to one of my favourite worship songs. As I clicked play, I began to close my eyes. I knew the song by heart and began to sing. It was not even the end of the first verse when I felt tears running down my cheeks. I kept singing but found myself crying more than I could sing. So I just kept crying. In that moment I felt how real God was and His presence just filled me and all I could do was soak in it.Words cannot do justice to what I experienced in that length of the song as I sat weeping and worshiping Him. More than ever, I believe that God is real and He knows my heart. I truly marvel at how close He is to me and knowing me inside out. As much as I have been occupied with work and taking every opportunity to let my hair down when I have the time, not making as much time as I should for Him, He gave me that precious moment tonight when He drew me back to His awesome presence. I realized how much I have taken Him for granted by not keeping Him close but just merely a God who hears and watches over me from 'afar'. Tonight, when He touched me, it was like Him wanting to tell me that He is not far away at all and that He is just as close as a father or a friend.

Here in Your courts where I'm close to Your throne,

I find where I belong.

Proverbs

Sleep

⁶ Go to the ant, you sluggard;
    consider its ways and be wise!
⁷ It has no commander,
    no overseer or ruler,
⁸ yet it stores its provisions in summer
    and gathers its food at harvest.

⁹ How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
    When will you get up from your sleep?
¹⁰ A little sleep, a little slumber,
    a little folding of the hands to rest —
¹¹ and poverty will come on you like a thief
    and scarcity like an armed man.

Learning

⁷ The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
    but fools^[a] despise wisdom and instruction.

Counsel

¹⁵ The way of fools seems right to them,
    but the wise listen to advice.

Discernment

¹⁵ The simple believe anything,
    but the prudent give thought to their steps.

Friends

²⁰ Walk with the wise and become wise,
    for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Rebuke

⁸ Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;
    rebuke the wise and they will love you.

Caution

¹⁶ The wise fear the Lord and shun evil,
    but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure.

Humility

² When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
    but with humility comes wisdom.

Change

³ The prudent see danger and take refuge,
    but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.

Planning

⁵ The wise prevail through great power,
    and those who have knowledge muster their strength.
⁶ Surely you need guidance to wage war,
    and victory is won through many advisers.

Self Control

¹¹ Fools give full vent to their rage,
    but the wise bring calm in the end.

Heart

²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

Never enough wisdom.

Year 2011

The year is ending in like 2 days. So here's what I've gotta say about 2011...

I started the year being a fresh grad who have been bumming around for 8 months since graduation. By that time, dad had already finished his treatments and was back in JB. Around that time also I've secured a job with RHB and was asked to start on the first week of Feb. I requested to start a week later, right after CNY, cause I was still on holiday mood haha. So in the second week of Feb, I started working officially! 

First couple of months of work was pretty boring actually. I was given some notes to read on the bank trade facilities and of course, I didn't understand much haha. What I enjoyed most was the stress-free environment and going home on time everyday. Also, after a couple of weeks of work, I decided to get a new ride because I'd be expected to travel for work within N9 till North Johor. And so, a new liability was confirmed and I got Casper :)

Later on, I was sent for courses in Bangi and got to meet up with some KL peeps for dinner during workdays which was quite nice :) I began to travel more to companies within the said region and met all sorts of people. Most of the time I had to converse in Mandarin though - forced to learn some new jargons to make my explanation more effective haha. But more often than not, work was manageable and interesting. I've never traveled on the highway so much before in my life! What I enjoy most is seeing the clouds, sort of a new interest :)

Around June, when I was back in JB for a weekend, dad suddenly had fits. And in the wee hours of that morning, it was the first time I sat in an ambulance. Turns out, he had some lesion in his brain and after some tests, doctors confirmed that his cancer was back again. First things first, a surgery was done in HSA JB to remove the lesion. It was successful but he still had to go through 6 cycles of chemo again, this time in JB itself. After completing the chemo, the next step was a stem-cell transplant. Dad and mom had to be in Ampang Hospital for about 2 months. During that time, bros and I went over to Ampang as often as we could and we thank God for Ps Lisa who opened up her place to us strangers :) Thank God that all of dad's treatments went well and the latest check up was positive. He has lost so much weight since then but we are just grateful that he is still with us :) 

Another highlight would be me getting the iPhone4! I know this may sound kind of ridiculous but sadly, it's true - iPhone changed my life. HAHA

This year was also a year where our friends got married and many more to come next year! Really appreciate these occasions as they are a time for reunion since everyone is now settled down in different places. The only setback is our pockets haha. But I'm grateful for new friendships and also deepening of old friendships this year. I learnt that if we do open up and accept others, things can be really different :)

Christmas was really nice this year. Aunt and cousin from sg came to stay with us and we had a good time having home-cooked food and just chilling out at home :) Just grateful that the whole family can be together :)

Besides that, I managed to meet up with some JB friends too! 

I guess that's about it for this year. It was more of just work and family. No major trips this year, but there will be in the coming year! :) 

Above all, I'm thankful that I can still serve God with what I love.

For all the many downs and occasional ups, I still want to thank You for Year 2011 :)

Hello, Year 2012!!

Others

Life's been so different this year, but I'll get to more details when I do my annual reflection later ;) I guess we can never avoid being in contact with others but that's the root of my ups and downs.
But this morning's devotion reminds me to be at peace with everyone. I'm grateful for all the times that I can get over an issue easily. And for the other times, I definitely need more grace.

It's the Christmas season once again. One of the mellow-est December for me personally. I hope things will pick up soon, and for all of you ;)

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

-Romans 12:18

The world needs a peace that passes all understanding - ODB

Sad But True

Find this really funny but can't help but feel guilty!

Why

Sometimes I ask God why can't life be easier?

Why can't good things prevail?

Sometimes it's getting so hard to breathe but I just got to go on.

It's so hard to always see things positively and I really am getting tired.

I wish God would make things right again, as if everything was just a mere nightmare.

But it is still as it is.

'One day at a time' is getting harder to live by. 

I look forward to the day when I do not have anything at the back of my mind to worry about in the midst of everything...I really do.

Please heal, Lord.

You Are Good

You Are Good - Kari Jobe

I Need Thee Every Hour

The Lord has promised good to me

His Word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures

Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

This is my Father's world

the birds their carols raise

the morning light, the lily white

declare their maker's praise

This is my Father's world

He shines in all that's fair

in the rustling grass I hear Him pass

He speaks to me everywhere      

Let us exalt His name together forever

I sought the Lord

He heard me and delivered me from my fears

Let us exalt His name together forever

O sing His praises, magnify the Lord     

And now let the weak say I am strong

Let the poor say I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us

Give thanks.

Thou art worthy.